▶ Tell the people you “like-like” that you like them.

• Half the time, those people probably like you too. (Like-like? Love-like? Romantic-styles?)
• And even if they don’t, you’ll stop pining and move on afterward.
• Yeah, things might get awkward because maybe they don’t like you that way, but that’s their issue, not yours.
• For you, liking someone means you genuinely enjoy their company. You’d rather they be happy, even if it’s not romantically with you.
• As much as you wish to be the one who is chased, you will often need to be the brave one. I know it sucks (because we’re so fucking awkward), but it’s better to just do it. If you wait for the other person to get the hint, you’ll be waiting forever. You’re probably bad at being obvious and hinting!
• Note to thirty-five-year-old me: You should get better at that, too.

▶ Kiss the person you want to kiss in the way you want to be kiss.

• With consent, as always, of course.
• Kissing is great. The longer you date someone, the less you make out, and that sucks.
• Put yourself out there—rejection hurts, but with exposure therapy, we learn it hurts a lot less once you hear it enough.
• If the person you’re kissing isn’t doing what feels good, tell them how you want to be kissed. Everyone has more fun when given clear directions.
• Also, anyone who says kissing on a first date means the person will never be serious about you is wrong when you kiss the right people on the first date. If they are the wrong sort, they saw themselves out, so who cares?
• With any significant risk, there’s always the chance of great reward 😉
• Also, I’m using “kiss” to mean more than one thing—sometimes, you can be a little thick, so in case you’re not picking up what I’m throwing down.

▶ Tell your friends you love them more.

• I know, you think you’re just lucky to have friends and constantly assume you’re a burden, that they’re only tolerating you because, like, I guess they don’t have anything better to do. (Spoiler alert: that’s a weird thought process, by the way, and anxiety meds will help.)
• But you don’t tell them enough how much you like them, and once you get less weird and do it more, you’ll realize that sometimes other people need to hear what they do well, too.
• And when you start doing it for others, you’ll see that there are things you’re also good at, and you’ll believe people more when they compliment you.

▶ Compliment strangers more, too.

• You’ll start doing it as a way to push yourself out of your own awkward bubble (good on you, exposure therapy is working!).
• But honestly, it’s wonderful to receive a genuinely kind compliment from someone who isn’t doing it just to get something from you; they just want to sprinkle some joy.
• You’ll realize you have the power to make people see how great they are, too.
• Also, vulnerability comes with complimenting people, and it’s good to practice.

▶ Your life won’t always match the trajectory of others because of circumstances out of your control.

• This isn’t advice, just acknowledgment.
• Many times, you’ll have to say no to opportunities because of your current financial situation.
• It sucks, I know. I’m sorry.
• You will get more opportunities, but I know it hurts every time you have to turn them down.
• But also, later, when you’re in a better place financially—DO THE FUCKING THINGS.

▶ Be cringe. JUST DO IT.

• You haven’t heard much about Gen Z yet because boomers are still on their tirade of blaming millennials for everything, but “cringe” is just being yourself.
• There’s no such thing as a guilty pleasure—just like the things you like.
• Anime, manga, and all that are cool. The next Gen is all about it, so your elder nerd knowledge comes in super handy later. So, just like the things you like.
• You like romance as much as you try to act tough. You’re a fucking marshmallow. And that’s okay.
• Folks who are snobs about music/books/movies typically suck, so stop trying to impress them.

▶ Stop being afraid of being bad at something.

• “Dude, sucking at sumthin’ is the first step towards being sorta good at something.” – Jake the Dog, Adventure Time.
• If it’s fun, and it isn’t hurting you or anyone else, do it.
• So many people don’t do things for fun because they’re scared or because it doesn’t serve a more capitalistic purpose.
• There’s no big ultimate meaning to life if you aren’t fucking living.

▶ Someone doesn’t have to be a “bad person” or some villainous mastermind to harm you irreparably.

• When that guy does the bad thing — you’ll know when it happens — call it what it is. You knew it the instant it happened.
• Someone isn’t all evil but that doesn’t mean they are all good either.
• It matters if they hurt you and you don’t have to forgive them for their actions.

▶ Stay fucking sunshiney.

• Some people are mean to you because you seem naive and dumb, just because you’re a silly, goofy, smiley person. But, like, that’s their problem.
• Being a fucking cynic doesn’t mean they’re more “mature” or “smart.”
• Positive nihilism is the best; LIFE IS MEANINGLESS, SO WHY NOT HAVE A GOOD FUCKING TIME.

▶ Sometimes it is not you, it is actually them.

• Sometimes managers are just bad, and they think you’re the one who is terrible because they don’t know how to be a fucking manager.
• “FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS A GIFT.” Yeah, and you don’t have to keep every “gift” dropped in your fucking lap.
• Put the bad feedback in the garbage can where it belongs.
• This will make you question yourself constantly, but your gut and future self will know the truth.
• Stop giving jobs 150% effort when they treat you absolutely like garbage.
• HR is not your friend. Document everything.

▶ More on that gut thing: trust it more. You’ve got good discernment.

• This is part of the neurodivergent thing, but you have good pattern recognition.
• It’s good that we constantly question our intentions and actions because many people lack this skill. We can correct ourselves when we realize we’re doing something wrong.
• A lot of people assume you are mean because they didn’t like when you called them out on their bullshit.

▶ Even if you don’t say it the right way, say the damn thing because no one else will.

• You’ll try so hard constantly to find the right words, which means sometimes you end up saying nothing—and like, fuck that, to be honest.
• Don’t be afraid of being misunderstood.
• You can word something perfectly, and they’ll still find fault.
• And sometimes you, being privileged as you are, should take time to explain to people who are genuinely curious and not just being assholes.

▶ “Have you checked your butt?” will never stop being funny.

• Even when people don’t laugh, you will.
• Butts, farts, etc.—HILARIOUS.
• You can word something perfectly, and they’ll still find fault.

▶ In regards to men, they’ll tell on themselves whenever you treat them the same way they treat you.

• You assume, for the most part, that the golden rule is the life rule to follow: treat others how you want to be treated. However, a lot of men expect to be treated well even when they don’t treat others that way.
• A lot of feminist lit will clear this up for you.
• You’ll even get a dude to crash out at his writing show because he wrote about you for three years (and performed these stories publicly).
  • He’ll even steal and perform one of your experiences as his own.
  • Then, when you write and perform a story where you mention the fucked-up shit he did when you were dating, he’ll never speak to you again.
  • Also, he still writes about you sometimes and performs that shit, but that’s fine because that motherfucker crashed out, and you didn’t even mention him by fucking name in your story.

▶ Even when everything is awful and scary, keep caring.

• Often, people remove their feelings from things, or they like to say, “It’s not that deep,” or “This isn’t personal.”
• It is punk rock to give a shit.
• It is punk rock to be outraged when shit is fucked.
• One can quickly lose oneself for the sake of “self-preservation,” but we are not islands; we are a whole planet of folks.
• Also, crying when you care doesn’t make you any fucking less capable. And assholes who think otherwise need to go to therapy.
• And, keep checking on yourself and make sure your actions align with your values. People can be paradoxes, but that isn’t always a good way to be. You are not fucking immune.